In reality both views are right, it really is a case by case decision on how to react to the new blood coming into the scene....
For the quiet, keep to themselves type, you really shouldn't be too harsh on them, most of them you should encourage and behind that quiet mouse normally lies an amazing mind....
But for the Ritalin poster children who insist on trying to prove themselves to you, sometimes a harsher approach is best... However instead what tends to happen is those who have been around the scene just ignore the new blood, which is far worse than either approach...
Nobody has the right to say who belongs and who doesn't, this scene is made up of geeks, nerds, and just plain odd people that quit trying to be what people say they should be and make their own rules..
But there are certain things that shouldn't be ignored...
These things aren't about Goth only but all the alternative subcultures whether it's punk, goth, progressive, rave, or any other aspect....
Here are some of the things the alternative scene has taught me.....
1. Family: We are all freaks, regardless of how we express it, arguing
and bickering will happen but when it comes down to it we whould be able to rely on
one another....
2. Respect: Although we may disagree with one anothers views, we came to the
alternative scene because the preppie/jock community didn't respect our right to choos what's right for us what possible right do we have to behave that way amongst ourselves...
3. Loyalty: This really goes back to the family thing, but it's a
little more in depth. We will inter fight, it happens, but no matter
how much you dislike the other person they're a fellow freak and you
should be ready to help them when they're in a jam...(back home that
normally was a bunch of rednecks jumping someone for look'n funny)....
4: Integrity: If you believe in something stand up for it, don't shove
it down other peoples throats, but don't waver on it because of what
someone else thinks...
5: Nothing: There is no cool, no matter how cool someone appears at the
clubs etc., inside everyone has the same basic hopes, fears, and
insecurities ....
Those are some of the most important things I learned when I was a
kid, I sometimes feel people are too willing to overlook people who
can't show these respects either too afraid to be harsh on a Baby Bat or too stuck on them selves to take them under their cape...
In my opinion these are the core values being lost by ignoring the new
blood and not showing them by whatever example what makes the
subculture different from just a bunch of normals playing dress up...
Now for a few quotes that really shaped my life...
punk girl after one too many Mickey's...
"Do you think she likes me" said with sheepish little boy face
One of
the "cool" cyber-punks when the girl who had bragged to me all evening
that she was going to get laid walked out of the room...
"No matter how hard a freak tries to look normal people will still see
them as a freak, and no matter how hard a normal tries to look freaky
they still look normal"
My cousin
"Welcome everyone with an open mind you never know what they have to
offer, but if they can't show you the same respect, make sure they
don't come back...."
Dark Punk (don't call him Goth it pisses him off)
"The only difference between a friend and a girlfriend is whether or
not you're sleeping with them, you can be a close to a friend as a
lover and there's nothing wrong with it"
???
"When the mainstream catches up with the freaks what will the freaks
do"
Me, talk with a friend over where we saw the scene going....
"Dropping out, now that's punk rock!!! If we're going to change things
we have to work our way into positions that matter, that won't happen
without education..."
Punk activist at a gathering to organize a protest
of the planned after-hours ban in Tulsa (unfortunately it passed)